the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I could fuck to npr.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
