I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
