Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
