Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
