Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
