How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
