..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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