I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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