I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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