Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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