You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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