the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
