I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
