so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
