I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
