New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
