yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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