I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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