Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
