i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
