i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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