Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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