fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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