I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
