Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
