it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
