Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
