is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
