"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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