If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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