Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
