Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
