is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
