(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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