In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
