If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
