What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
