The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
