I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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