Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
