You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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