She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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