Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
