I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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