I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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