My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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