This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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