Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
