We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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