This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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