somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
