We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
