i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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