when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
