After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize