The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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