WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
