Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
