Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wow bdsm is so cute
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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