It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
