STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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