There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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