I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
