Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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