That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Couch. On fire.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
