Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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