After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
